Buzz around me in the static
I hear this electric pulse
thrumming through my veins
Memories taped to the walls
of this cardboard box; photographic
evidence of another life. We wrote
our names in sand, you crossed mine
out: I can’t get back to the way I was.
Robot
16 Comments:
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impressive,
you crossed my name out, I cannot get back to the way I was…
love the lines.
thanks for the participation, have fun!
Happy Friday!
it is a pleasure to have your work exposed to another type of audience.
Kiera, well written. I can’t get back the way I was. I am amazed with the power of your pen..
Thanks for the wonderful comment on my blog.. Do keep coming..
Rhyming Waters
–Someone Is Special–
memories on walls of cardboard boxes.. liked the imagery a lot.. could visualize parts and the flow was awesome..!
Rally Week 29, My Poem
Nice.
each moments define our lives and we may not like the person we became, we are comforted by the thought that everything will be better.
-D
I’m with Leo… Nice write here. Love and Light, Sender
There’s no going back, but forward can be better. I enjoyed this. Nice writing.
No going back…isn’t that what life is about…always pushing forward. Well done!
I love the yearning in this piece.
Thinking outside the box! I like it.
Hi
mty response:
I wish this was mine!!! I dig the poem and the robot metaphor…It reminds me of art and poetry i do about “the girl in the box”…thats what i call a part of myself…I am looking foward to reading more of your poetry!
http://lovelyannie79.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/portrait-of-a-lady/
I’m with Jingle on loving those last lines. Very simple poem, but says so much.
it feels so abstract. makes me wanna think.
thank you for this =]
once we change, there is no turning back; just going forward!
We wrote
our names in sand, you crossed mine
out:
wow.
amazing poem.
strange things you did with words…
How are you?
visit those you did not reach but here commenting for you…
take your time,
Happy Tuesday.
I value your participation…
Rally week 30 is not next week, it is on the week after next week.